Sometimes it scares me how tired I am

from simply existing in this body

from thinking my thoughts

from interacting with people

from enjoying a meal

from bathing

from praying

I have not labored

Yet I lay exhausted

I have given of myself, still.

I have poured out my pleas

for connection and guidance

I can no longer trade my life for my living.

All that I have is for the reserve of my survival and the survival of those I love

So I anxiously sit at the altar of my truth:

I am no longer available for mass consumption

Time to find a new way to live

12.8.20